Reminiscing

Last night I couldn't sleep, like usual. Well instead of watching TV all night I decided to look through some old pictures, way way old pictures. I have a huge thing full of pictures from when I lived in California, these are from like senior year in high school and on. It made me so sad I was almost crying. I just miss my life there, I lost a lot of great and old friends. But then I think of my life here and I would never give it up. I feel like I'm so independent now and I love my life and my struggles. It's everything that I've made it to be. The good and the bad! But I miss the freedom of what my life use to be. No responsibilities, and I thought my life was so tough and I'd never get through it. HA! Well I went to go write about this, because that's what I do. And I have this notebook I write in every once and awhile. I don't do it a lot because I hate writing a ton it hurts my hand. So I was reading some past things I've written and all the last stuff was about Ian. That was such a weird time in my life. I feel like it was forever ago. Well it kind of was we've been broken up for almost a year. While I'm reading these things I'm thinking you know how people say "well he wouldn't be him if it weren't for..." Well Ian wouldn't be him if it weren't for his empty promises. It sounds harsh, but it's so true! Our whole 2 year or whatever relationship was full of empty promises from him. I kept getting pulled in. Even after this is all said and done, I wouldn't take any of it back. I learned so much from all of it. But I'm so happy now. Utah is a fun place to live when everything isn't him. I'm so happy now! All and all it was a weird night, and I think the next time I can't sleep I'm going to watch TV or take nyquil so I can! HAHA!